She crept up on me
by whatsablee
Summary: Joniss endgame. Katniss vowed to save Peeta in the games, but what if she found someone to save her? Spoilers for Catching fire (I guess?) And Mocking Jay
1. Chapter 1

She crept up on me

I'm sorry for any mistakes, they are all mine, please don't judge because I wrote this last night. Also word isn't on my computer (i have no idea why i mean dude!) so i wrote this on my Kindle then emailed it to myself yada yada yada. enjoy :)

Katniss pov

I reluctantly opened my eyes and scanned around my train compartment. I heard the clicking of the wheels on the tracks as we approached the capitol. Sighing I thought of the day ahead of me and ran my hands through my knotted hair. Effie entered my compartment, without knocking as usual, informing Me we were "only hours away" with a largely over the top grin. Safe to say Her enthusiasm is not contagious. After a much needed shower I dragged myself to breakfast only to be met with the top of Haymitch' s head as he appeared to be sleeping in his breakfast. Rolling my eyes I began to try and awaken him. Eventually I gave up and slumped myself down on the chair and closed my eyes enjoying the silence, until a horrible whirring noise cane from the door "now Katniss please don't slouch like that in the capitol, what will people think?" Effie scolded. "They'd probably think I was tired" I muttered bitterly under my breath straightening myself up. I looked to my left to notice Peeta had entered with Effie, I cursed my new ear I would've picked that up before. We ate to the wonderful music of Effie' s droning. It took the gold haired women a good 15 minutes to notice one key person in our team wasn't listening in fact he had a face full of pancakes…literally his face was in the pancakes. She kicked him under the table and he jolted awake with a groan "why in the hell did you wake me up like that?! Are you insane?! Has all that dye been absorbed into your brain and made it mush?!" Haymitch ranted at Effie.

The two continued to argue over the matter I listened intently rather amused, suddenly I felt a tap in my shoulder. I looked to my left to see Peeta, he moved his face near me and for one horrible moment I thought he was about to kiss me. "Don't they sound like an old married couple?" He laughed, I forced out a giggle but I didn't find it that funny "you think everyone sounds like an old married couple" I shot back smirking as his face morphed into one of confusion. I began to chuckle loudly, "you don't remember? On the victory tour you said Prim and her friend Joey fought like a married couple too" "guess I've only been around couples that fight" he smiled sadly, wow way to guilt trip me Peeta. We continued our meal in silence contented with listening to the argument that was happening across the table "you never wake a sleeping drunk, it's dangerous, everyone knows that" "that's sleepwalkers Haymitch" Effie said with a voice showing no signs of patience.

It was another two hours until our train pulled up at the capitol, it was just as we'd left it mere weeks ago. All four of us stepped into the reception of a grand hotel of sorts. The ceilings were high and decorated with chandeliers that twinkled, I'd say it was beautiful, if it wasn't for the awful situation. The smells that entered my senses was that of fruit, but not the fresh smell of fruit many tributes were used it, like everything in the capitol it was enhanced to make it "better". The smell made me gag much like the people. We were taken to our quarters by an avox. Effie told us they are holding a Victor' s dinner at 5, another thing that made me . talking to people wasn't a strong point of mine I must admit, that was Peeta' s job, he's the loveable boy next door, I was the girl with the snarky attitude as Haymitch so kindly puts it. We are dismissed and walk to our rooms, my hand keeps brushing against peeta' s and eventually he stops and takes my hand fully. "I'm so glad we made up katniss" he said kissing my fingers softly, "me too, it's almost impossible to hate you" I laughed jerking my hands away from the unnecessary contact. Peeta looked like a kicked puppy but forced a smile "I should go get ready, let's show these victors what we're made of hey?!" He smiled genuinely wrapped me in a one arm hug and left for his room. One arm hug. That perfectly describes our relationship. One sided and awkward. I strolled into my room only to find a beautiful black dress on my bed, it had thin straps and cut off mid thigh from what I could tell, I don't know much about clothes, but it was nice. I walked towards it and found a note laying on it "knock em dead- Cinna " I grinned at my stylist, always fabulous. Looking at the clock I was suddenly thankful I had showered on the train as it appeared Effie had rambling for longer than I thought. I just about had time to throw my dress on. As it was not a public appearance event the victors were left to their own devices, something I was very glad of, I couldn't take anymore fake wedding talk.

When I was ready I came out to find Haymitch nursing a whiskey like a baby drinking mother's milk. It was disturbing to say the least. I cleared my throat and he sat up, suddenly all business, he surveyed me up and down and broke into a smile. "Looking great sweetheart, you look the part now just remember to be nice and make friends, if you're serious about Peeta surviving then you need allies and tonight and training are the only opportunities you'll get" he winked at me as Peeta came out of his room dressed in a simple black suit. He looked handsome as always. He stared at me with a vacant look in his eyes "hey hey hey eyes front soldier" Haymitch laughed, Peeta suddenly looked up startled at being caught doing…I had no idea what he was doing. I brushed It off not really caring, there were more important things to worry about.

Me and Peeta arrived at the dining hall and were shocked at the mountains of food, any food you could imagine was on this table. Most victors were socializing at this point and I suddenly felt as if I was the new kid at school with everyone else playing with their friends while I stand and watch. Peeta of course is already talking to someone, my eyes scan around the room for anyone who looks non threatening enough to speak to. I sigh and sit down on the nearest chair and begin to wallow in self pity that is until I feel a gentle tap on you shoulder. "Hey brainless it's called networking you should try it" a gravelly female voice rang out from just behind me, I turned my head to be met with the abdomen of Johanna Mason district 7, I look up from my chair to her face "well maybe I'm not very good at it" I try to say in a bitter tone but It comes out soft and whiney. "What so lover boy does all the work?" She says smirking. I turned my head away taking an instant dislike to this women, she continued to talk but eventually gave up and stormed off muttering curses under her breath . "Bitch" I thought.

I heard a soft chuckle behind me just as out the corner of my eye I saw the chair being pulled out from beside me. "Not a Johanna fan huh? Not surprising she's a little…much for some people" the voice spoke, his voice was like velvet. I turned my head to be met with strikingly blue eyes that resembled the ocean after a storm. Finnick Odiar. The capitol' s sweetheart."sweet Lord where is a jealous fool when you need one" the voice in my head spoke and just as the thought entered my head Peeta arrived giving Finnick a "threatening stare" Finnick just chuckled and left with a "I'll leave you lovers to it" and winked at us. I groaned and placed my head on the table, God I hated people what was their obsession with talking and sharing. I had to endure Peeta trying to hold my hand and talk to me about the people the people he was talking to. It was beyond boring. Eventually the horrible dinner came to an end an My networking had stayed with Johanna and Finnick. Great job Katniss, Peeta had spoken to almost everyone at least twice.

I stormed into my room walking past Haymitch and Eddie who appeared to have waited up, I ignored Peeta' s concerned calls, why did he have to care some much. The night had been a disaster. Well tomorrow was training and a new day to show off and do much own sort of networking, I needed strong people to save Peeta or at least trust worthy people.


	2. Chapter 2

_so chapter 2 and stuff, i figured out how to get word on my computer which is helpful i guess. Again all errors are mine and enjoy._

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I ate my breakfast the next morning quietly trying to mentally prepare myself for the gruelling day ahead. Training was always difficult, last year it was sizing up my competitor, this year it was trying to find allies to save Peeta. Speaking of Peeta he was nowhere to be seen, apparently he didn't appreciate my storming off yesterday after the dinner and had already gone to wait. I finished up and walked slowly to the training centre meeting Peeta' s gaze for a moment he gave me a little smile. Christ learn to stay mad Peeta. We walked in and split up, I walked over the talk to Wiress and Beete we spoke for a while I then wandered over to Finnick' s district partner Mags, she was sweet I liked her. I was terribly scared Finnick would leave her in the games. I surveyed the room and caught the site of Johanna twirling her axe in the air. I stared memorized at the intricate motions. She locked eyes with me and something inside me stirred, I stalked towards the shooting area and showed off my shooting skills. When I finish I turned around and sauntered from the room locking eyes with a dumbfounded expression on her face. I smirked at the power I'd excreted, and left the room.  
It was the afternoon and time to be pulled on our chariots, after a pep talk from my stylist Cinna I was ready, I gently petted the horse when I felt hands slip round my waist I heard a velvet voice in my ear "sugar cube? They're meant to be for the horses but I figured with the situation we're in we have to grab something sweet…while we can" Finnick said. I scowled, we continued our conversation honestly I wasn't interested my eyes scanned around the area looking at people's outfits avoiding Finnick' s because let's just say, there wasn't a lot to look at in the clothes department. Peeta then came up behind me, holding my hand, damn him he knew I couldn't pull away. Sweet idiot. We set off and unlike all the other victors me and Peeta glared at Snow, while I looked composed inside the threat of him killing my sister, my mother and Gale still lay in my mind. But we made it through, I felt a little better but interviews still rested on my shoulders. Me, Haymitch and Peeta stepped into the elevator discussing the interviews and what we'll have to say. What I'll have to sell. Just as the doors were beginning to close a manicured hand slipped through the door pushing it open. In stepped Johanna in an uncomfortable looking dress, she looked me in the eyes and said "how does it feel now the whole capitol wants to sleep with you? " her eyes flickered to Peeta indicating that the question was directed at him. "Um" Peeta coughed nervously at the attention, "unzip" Johanna asked turning to give Peeta access. "Sure" he smiled, always the gentlemen even I could hear the venom in my inner voice...was I jealous? Of Johanna? Bullshit I don't want Peeta' s attention I get plenty of it. Johanna slipped out of her dress revealing that she had nothing on underneath. I diverted my eyes to Peeta who had suddenly become very interested in the floor, I looked to Haymitch to see him smirking. Men. I kept my eyes away from Johanna annoyed with how she flaunted her body around. The elevator dinged, Johanna stepped out but turned before the doors closed again "this was fun, let's do it again sometime" she looked my body up and down causing me to blush and winked at me. That was…weird.  
Peeta walked me to my room again "hey Katniss I'm really sorry about that…with Johanna, I didn't know she would do that I swear I didn't look" he continued to ramble, I smiled at him " it's fine, you can look at who you want, I don't own you Peeta" I said, his face fell, crap I thought that'd help but it appears I messed up…again. I sighed "bye Peeta" I give up, I don't get people. I huffed and lay on my bed, my mind wandered to the skills session and what I'd do... sleep eventually consumed me.  
My skills session, had gone…well, it was interesting after a lecture from Effie a hug from Peeta and an awkward exchange with Haymitch I was alone again. Thank God. With the interviews impending I took a long shower, as the hot water cascaded over my body I thought of how last time I was here, I was ready, ready to win for Prim now I didn't know what I felt. I needed to survive for my sister, to keep her safe but Peeta needed to get out, Haymitch was right no matter how many lives I lived I'd never be as good as him. I felt tears stream down my face, or maybe it was the water, I didn't care. I wrapped my hands around my waist trying to hold myself together desperately. I let out a painful sob, I didn't understand why this was happening. What did I do to deserve this? When I calmed myself down I stepped out of the shower drying myself and my face carefully. Pulling myself back together I stepped into my room wearing a tank top with shorts. I jumped to see Johanna lying on my bed playing with my pillow case. She was stripped of any capitol chemicals, she looked up at me and frowned. She strides towards me and my heart rate went up, was she going to kill me? Her hand went out to caress my cheek, her thumb stroked gently across the skin. I shivered at the touch, why I have no idea. My mind was racing, what does she want? "You've been crying" her voice was soft, something I'd never heard before. I subconsciously leaned into her touch, "yeah" my voice was scratchy, I winced at the sound of it. "Why? Tell me" her hand had moved and began to stroke my arm, leaving goose bumps there. "Why are you here Johanna?" I said pulling away. "Hey please don't" her hands slipped around my waist pulling me closer, I wanted to give in, something in my body wanted to and I scared me. I didn't like Johanna she was loud, rude and overbearing. Yet here she was being kind, considerate, and soft. I was very confused.  
"Why are you here?" I repeated again harder this time but not pulling away, her hands were resting on my hips, rubbing little circles into my shorts, it was very distracting "I just…I really wanted to…" she paused looking down "see you" she whispered the last part, the room seemed to lose all oxygen. I jerked away "why?! What's this about? Why would you want to do that?! Is this some kind of game to you?! Am I some kind of game!? " I was practically screaming at this point. I wanted her to go now. Suddenly Peeta burst through the door " oh that's just perfect of course you're here right now" I screamed sarcastically at Peeta, his face was confused as he looked between the two of us "Katniss did she hurt you?" Peeta spoke evenly. "Oh you'd love that wouldn't you, the boy with the bread swoops in to save the day" I stated bitterly I'd calm down now slightly due to the fact Johanna had seized my hips again and had gentle slipped her hands under my shirt and was tracing random shapes there. "Katniss its ok, please just breathe" Johanna spoke almost as calmly as Peeta. I did as she instructed breathing in and out softly trying to calm my beating heart down to a normal rate. Peeta stared at Johanna as if she'd grown a third head, I shared his shock but I didn't like it, something nagged inside me, the same thing I felt in the elevator. I just didn't like it. "Just…get out" I said "both of you" I looked Johanna in the eyes and smiled sadly at her. "I'll see you at the interviews tomorrow I guess" Johanna muttered hurt and slumped out. I felt pain shoot through me, when Peeta wore the same look. God I was a bitch sometimes. I collapsed on my bed wishing it would consume me to save me from tomorrow. I fell asleep with thoughts of the arena and Johanna mason.


	3. Chapter 3

so i skipped some stuff as you've probably all read the books/watched the film, and i couldn't improve on that. but once we get to Mocking jay there will be spoilers but it will go differently. i clearly don't own the hunger games i wish i did. all errors are mine. this chapter isn't that great but so much happened in catching fire so it was hard to write about all of it so i did some freaky time skips :) try to get past my bad writing and enjoy

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I could kill him. How could he say I was pregnant! Well he certainly shocked the capitol and me. Snow will be pleased. I stepped off stage ignoring everyone around me, until I felt a soft hand on my wrist "hey there girl in fire where you going?" Johanna' s smug voice was back and the soft caring girl had gone. Her eyes were hard, but had a glimmer of softness in them. "To bed" I replied shortly, Johanna smirked "ohhh can I come too?" I almost choked on my saliva, I breathed and knew I had to have the upper hand with this girl "sure, I mean…if you can keep up with me" I walked off with Johanna practically running behind me, I was trying to hold in a laugh. I slipped into my room removing my clothes and throwing them on the floor. I realised Johanna must've left, so I put on my tank top and shorts and turned. I was met by the sight of a smiling Johanna "can I come in?" She asked running her hand up and down my door frame. "Whatever" I said trying to sound cool. I lay down in bed ready to sleep turning my back against a stripping Johanna, she got down to her underwear and slipped in beside me. We lay next to each other our hands brushing softly together. It was weird and awkward but I didn't care, anything to shut everyone up so I could have one more nights peace.

"Katniss?" Johanna' s voice broke through my thoughts of punching Peeta and Haymitch in the jaws because this was clearly a dumb idea I can't be pregnant and in the arena, Haymitch can deny his involvement all he likes this is crap. "Go to sleep Johanna" I turned my back on her. "Katniss" she turned me so I was back staring at the ceiling. "What?!" I said loudly, crap I needed to be quiet I didn't want another Peeta episode. "When are you due?" Johanna said trying to hold in a laugh, I groaned "shut up" I tried to turn again only to feel her hands back on my back pushing me back to the bed. "Oooh maybe it'll have your wonderful sense of humour" Johanna giggled. Urgh I was going to kick her out of bed in a minute. "Awh come on brainless, if it's a boy you could name him after Snow"I suddenly couldn't contain myself something bubble up my throat and we both laughed this time, I clutched my side's and between giggles got out "yeah and his aunt Effie could do his hair" Johanna' s laughs got louder. At this point I didn't care about waking Haymitch, Peeta or Effie laughing felt too good to care. Our giggles dyed down, we both gazed at the ceiling lost in thought, Johanna broke the silence first "you should go to sleep brainless, women are cranky enough with lack of sleep, I dread to think how pregnant women are" she winked at me and I let out a sigh of disbelief. We resumed our previous position and drifted off into sleep. Unlike with Peeta I knew Johanna was not going to be there when I woke up, but much like with Peeta I knew we'd never speak of it again.

The next morning much as I'd predicted I woke up alone, well Effie was in my room shaking me awake saying it was breakfast then prep. I was thankful she bought breakfast to me in bed, I didn't want to talk to Peeta. Cinna came in to lead me to the arena tubes. The countdown began, just as two peacekeepers walked in…

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"The arena is a dome with a force field all around, we're at the edge" I said to Finnick, Peeta and Mags.

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After we awoke from our puss induced coma I stumbled to Finnick and put my arm around him, I pulled his body close as he began to sob at the loss of Mags, I'm not sure how long we both sat there but Peeta soon returned with water and Finnick stood up and walked off to get some "space". All I could do is frown after him.

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Blood rushed through me as adrenalin kept me sprinting through the forest dodging the mutt monkeys as I went. I heard a piercing scream to my left. I whirled round to see Peeta on the floor a monkey at his throat. Just as I was about to shoot it one lurched for my face. Fur clouded my vision. I was desperately trying to get it off me. When I did when the battle of strength I saw Peeta running with the body of a…morphling? We reached the beach Finnick keeping the monkeys at bay with his trident. "I don't think they can come on the beach" he yelled back at me and Peeta. Peeta set the body of the morphling down in the sea and let the waves rock her, while he spoke about his painting and cake decorating, I stood there stroking her hair, unsure of what to do. She wasn't like rue… but she saved Peeta. Her body was gone within minutes of the cannon fire. The monkeys had gone but a tidal wave washed over the cornucopia it was huge but we watched as it dwindled by our feet that's when we decided the beach was the safest place.

"Son of a bitch" I heard a familiar voice yell my head snapped to the source "Johanna?" Finnick ran to the girl who was covered in…blood. I heard her rambling about blood rain and let out a sigh of relief, and sauntered over "it's a good colour on you"I laughed at my own joke and for a second I saw her eyes light up, she just rolled her eyes. I washed Wiress in the water cleaning the blood off her body "tick tock" she repeated, tick tock the arenas a clock. Of course I hugged wiress as she squealed in delight that someone understood. We both ran to tell the others. As we stood on the cornucopia formulating what we knew suddenly the innocent voice of wiress no longer met my ears. I turned to see blood pouring out of her shoulder. Two seconds. A cannon sounded. we all leapt into action but suddenly the cornucopia shifted under our feet spinning, I tried desperately to cling on but suddenly I slipped down. My hands grazed the rocks as I began to slip "KATNISS NO" Johanna shrieked I felt her hand grip my arm until her knuckles turned white "Katniss hold on, please don't let go" she was delirious, my arm began to slip from her hand as I was plunged into the water. I came up coughing for air. I felt the strong hands of Peeta pulled me up he went to give me a hug but was pushed aside by Johanna who threw herself at me "for God's sake brainless, I said hold on" she grabbed my face with her hands "i know I'm sorry" she pulled me into a hug "don't ever do that to me again" she mumbled into my shoulder. I didn't know why but it felt good to be in her arms. The Canon sounded as the body of Wiress' killer was lifted into the air. Someone must've killed him during the confusion, Johanna pulled me to the beach and forced me down and sat down beside me. " go to sleep brainless" she whispered and forced me to lie down.


	4. Chapter 4

I kinda switched it up as I couldn't begin to want to try and relate to Katniss' s pain when hearing Prim' s screams I just found it easier to write Johanna. And obviously snow and the game makers wouldn't know of Johanna' s feelings so couldn't use it against her. I don't own the hunger games. Also there is a reference to an idea from the Doctor who episode 'a town called mercy' I don't own that or any other references L .

Johanna' s pov

I let my eyes rake over Katniss as she stood next to Peeta, Beete and Finnick, I strolled over resting my hand on her hip alerting her to my presence, she shot me a smile. They were speaking about a plan, that we'd already cleared with Haymitch before entering. "PRIM!" Katniss' s scream broke my thoughts I looked to her to horror only to see her sprinting in the forest "Katniss stop" I heard Finnick shout we tried to run after the pair only to be met with something stopping us. "Katniss! Katniss it's not real" Peeta screamed but Katniss couldn't hear, I noticed Finnick wearing the same expression as Katniss. My chest felt like it was collapsing into itself. I crouched down to Katniss' level and looked her as screams ripped from her chest. I had to close my eyes, I couldn't watch it anymore.

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The hour slowly came to a close though it felt like months of pain. Peeta went to comfort Katniss, what hurt most was she let him, they fell into each other's arms. Peeta began to reassure Katniss that it wasn't Prim, "of course Peeta is right, the whole country adores Katniss' sister. If they really killed her , they'd probably have an uprising on their hands. " I said flatly "wouldn't want that would we? How bout that snow? What if we burned down your back yard? You can't just keep everyone in here!" I screamed this time knowing they will have cut away from me already. Everyone stares at me in disbelief. "Whatever I'm going to get water, I walked past the happy couple. I try to ignore them, ignore her, but Katniss grabs my hand. It takes every fibre of my body not to pull her up and take her against a tree. "Don't go in there, the birds" her soft voice makes me shiver, I pull away my hand not wanting the contact anymore, I'd had enough pain. "They can't hurt me, I'm not like the rest of you, there's no one left I love" with that I walked away picking up her arrows on the way.

I returned to see her still glued to Peeta I shove the shell of water at them and slumped down next to them. "Who'd they use for Finnick?" I heard peeta ask as his hand reached hers. Horrifying. "A girl named Annie" she replied I frowned and looked to a heartbroken Finnick poor guy, I can't imagine what it must be like, to let love in. I noticed katniss pulling her hand away, I smirked, that's my girl. Moments later he tried again and she gave in as they began to cuddle I sighed and stormed off into the forest. I began to get more water and slumped against a tree pfft what does he have that I don't? Is it the baking? I can bake…probably, or is it that he's innocent…of course it is Johanna. He's sweet and together, that's why she likes him, he's the opposite of you. I hear a Canon and I swear my heart stops beating. I Sprint up slashing through the trees with my axe I had to know it wasn't her, she couldn't be… I burst through onto the beach. I almost fall over my own feet and searching for her. I hear her before I see her "Peeta!" Of course before my brain registers what I'm doing I throw myself into Katniss' arms. I bury my head deep into her shoulder to smell pine and forest a smell that is utterly Katniss a smell that somehow reminds me of home. "Johanna?" Her confused voice meets my ears but I can't bring myself to pull away enough to answer so I just groan and stay buried in her neck. She laughs "hey it's ok I think it was a career" I'm suddenly pushed out of the way by Peeta luckily Finnick catches me and smiles at me " you ok there Jo?" I shrug him off "yeah whatever" I looked over to see them embraced again. I think of how it would feel If I were Peeta if she loved me, and how when I first saw her at the reaping last year all I wanted to do was save her. How she managed to take my breath away but yet I'd never breathed easier than when I'm around her. My heart beats fast and slow at the same time. "Love is weird" I thought aloud looking at Peeta embracing Katniss. She locked eyes with me and frowned. I walked away again, I can't let myself love her. I can't hurt anymore.

I keep watching Katniss like a hawk, my mother used to say "love Is not about possession it's about appreciation, no matter how hard that it" She was weird, I didn't understand it then and I don't know. It hurts to watch Peeta looking over her that should be me. Finnick plonks himself down beside me.

"She doesn't love him you know" idiot, they sure do look in love "sure Finnick" I mutter using my axe to play in the sand.

"Jo she just heard her sister screaming in pain, she thought she'd lost her, I really don't think she cared who she was cuddling" Finnick smiled sadly "what we're you three talking about before you graced me with your presence?" I said bitterly trying to change the subject. "They were asking about Annie" he trailed off deep in thought. His eyes snapped back to me "Beetee says one more night and we can carry out the plan" he said standing up and offering me his hand "what are we waiting for? Let's go save some love birds" he said walking towards the others.

The night had drawn in very quickly; I was on the first watch. I gazed across the water to the tree that would hopefully save her. I heard something from behind me; I closed my hand around my axe and whirled round ready to kill whoever was sneaking around only to be met with a perfect pair of dark eyes. "What the hell were you doing sneaking around like that?! I could've killed you brainless" I hissed lowly not wanting to wake the others but still pissed at what I almost did. I wasn't mad at her…I was angry at myself, If I had killed her…I shivered, that wasn't something I ever wanted to think about. I crouched down staring again at the sea before asking "what do you want Everdeen" it came out harsher than intended it made me seem angry, yes anger is good Johanna anger is safe. "I couldn't sleep, I came to keep you company" she muttered her face going red at the last part; I smiled a little and sat on the ground in a less threatening position. "Thanks I guess" I mumbled.

We sat in a comfortable silence for a long time; it was nice to have someone's presence there. I was still on full alert, a bird tweeted to my left, and the waves crashed in front of me and behind me came the noises of bugs, all clear. "Johanna?" My eyes swept to Katniss who was now lying next to me and she seemed very interested in my clothes "what now brainless?" I sighed fearing the more we talked the worse I'd fall. "Tell me about district 7" she said still not looking in my eyes. "Well brainless there are lots of trees…"she gave me an unimpressed look and I rolled my eyes "fine, I think you'd like it, there is a constant smell of pine and oak...most of the district gets up to watch the sunrise over the tops of the trees, it's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen…" I trailed off thinking of the home that probably isn't even there anymore…"I'll never get to see that again will I?" I looked to her my eyes begging for an answer. There was a long pause, "promise you'll show me" Katniss' voice rang through my ears…it took me a few moments to register her words, though they didn't answer my question they sort of … did. "Ok, I promise"

I stared at her for a long time, our intense eye contact never breaking, I felt myself lean in. Crap Johanna red zone abort mission, quick think of things you hate about her. Damn her perfection...My mind scanned over Katniss trying to come up with something…there's only one of her? Urgh I can't deal with this. I let myself fall back onto the beach so I too was l lying down…next to Katniss…now who's brainless Johanna?. Suddenly Katniss was leaning over me worry lines etched across her face. Damn her. "What's wrong?" She asked as her hand reached out and brushed some of my short hair from my face. "Nothing…nothing at all…everything is perfect" I spat bitterly. We were again consumed in silence as Katniss continued to stroke my hair.

"Katniss?" My voice croaked out, I winced. Pull yourself together. "Mm ?" Katniss responded still preoccupied with stroking my hair "in district 7 we have a belief…that…well that when we die we have to carry the souls of the people that we've wronged and hurt up a mountain before we find peace…do you…do you think many they'll be kind when…when I go?" I stuttered out, looking at Katniss. Her face morphed into one of shock, probably shocked that you feel something Johanna I thought to myself. "I sure hope so" she whispered, she lay back down staring at the artificial sky. "I've never told anyone that…well I'm scared when I go…i keep thinking of all the souls I'll have to carry…tributes…friends" I swallowed "family" tears began to prick my eyes crap "Get some sleep Johanna" she whispered again just as the darkness consumed me. In the few short hours I slept I was slightly more at peace with her beside me.


	5. Chapter 5

This is back to Katniss I had no idea I'd like writing Johanna so much but yeah needs must. Might go back to Jo eventually I'm really not sure but yeah ok. lots of line breaks i figured it was easier to read but I'm'm writing on a tablet so the paragraphs seem bigger to me. but again i didn't want to writte everything from the book as well you've probably read it.

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I awoke with the past 24 hours a blur in my brain I remember lightening, losing Peeta and…I looked around, where was I? I unhooked myself from the oxygen and walked into a room to come face to face with familiar faces…what was happening? The last thing I remember is Haymitch saying "The capitol has them" then everything went black.

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I woke up to Gale watching over me. I blinked a few times and Gale filled me in…the last thing I remembered him saying was "there is no district 12" before grief consumed me.

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Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks. I honestly don't know how long I waited...waited to feel whole again waited to feel better waited to feel like the mocking Jay waited to feel love just waited to feel something.

* * *

I sat on the floor of Finnick' s compartment tying knots. We sat talking about our pasts comfortably. We'd got on the topic of Annie, "so was it love at first sight?" I teased he just laughed "no Annie she…she crept up on me" he said gazing into the difference. I laughed at his love struck face "rather you than me" I smiled and he gave me a look I couldn't quite place.

* * *

"They're back" Finnick said running to me in the canteen. I stood up and walked quickly through the halls of district 13. Haymitch grabbed my wrist "woah there sweetheart they are just doing some checks on Peeta right now…hey tell you what why don't you go see Johanna? She could use someone right now" he directed me and I obliged…I missed Johanna. I knocked gently when I got no reply I opened to door. I saw Johanna staring into space. What I saw was heart breaking. This wasn't the soft Johanna I saw before the games, this wasn't the brutal Johanna I saw killing in her games, she was almost the Johanna that told me about her home. Almost…with one big difference her eyes…her eyes were…dead. It was truly terrifying all of the fight is out of her. "K-Kaniss? Is t-that you? " her voice was weak and almost as limp as her body "yeah it's me" I muttered taking her hand in mine intertwining our fingers warming my entire body. "You came" her smile could've split her face in half, I'd never seen her so happy, tears began to prick my eyes and before I could stop myself I buried my face in her chest and began to sob "I thought you were gone forever Jo"

"Can't get rid of me that easy brainless" she chuckled stroking my hair hearing some of her old bravo made me sob more. I pulled back and gazed into her eyes as she smiled softly at me. "She crept up on me" Finnick's words ran through my mind over and over...No. My vision became blurry and I let go of Johanna' s hand then I hit the floor hearing her scream in agony "KATNISS!"

* * *

I squinted when I finally awoke everything was white and it hurt my eyes,I tried to move my hands to see them firmly strapped down. I look to my left to see Johanna smiling at me. "Have a nice nap sleeping beauty" she tries to act mockingly but I can see the worry behind her eyes. Worry that used to make me nervous but now makes my heart flutter. "Hey hey hey brainless? Don't faint on me again" Johanna said with her worry more evident. I blinked a few times and looked at her "hi" I whispered my voice hoarse, she passed me a glass of water her hand shaking causing some of it to hit her skin suddenly there was a loud crash as the glass hit the floor. Johanna recoiled back into her bed and began to claw at her ears trying to stop hearing something. She began to chant "please don't hurt her" and " I can't help you, I don't know anything" over and over again as she rocked back and forth tears streaming down her face. Her chanting got louder until she was screaming. All I could do is lie there my face a picture of horror as the strong girl I once knew crumbled before my eyes and I was helpless to do anything. Eventually nurses must of heard as soon as they entered I screamed at them to untie me, as soon as I was free from those straps I rushed to Johanna moving onto her bed and embraced her small shrunken figure and began to stroke her hair telling that it was ok she was safe with me, I ignored the pain as her nails clawed at me drawing blood.

Once I'd calmed her down enough the nurses put her back to sleep. I growled at them when Johanna moaned with pain when the needle pierced her skin. She was confined to more bed rest. The doctors forced me away from her hospital room after two days claiming "I needed to leave her alone for a little while" I decided with my time I'd make her something. Something special, I gathered pine needles on my next hunt and wrap them up special I lay them on my dresser in my room and began to prep it for Johanna' s arrival later that week. After her episode the doctors were convinced I'd be the best at "dealing with her"as they so kindly put it.

Johanna walks into my room…our room timidly, as if she's scared of what's inside. I grab her hips and guide her in, I'm surprised that she doesn't punch me. Well it's a good sign for the future. She finds the pine needles wrapped up for her and inhales "smells like home" she begins to cry softly.

"I remembered what you said about the woods and trees…I thought I'd would be nice for your drawer" she turns around tears gently trickling down her face she places the object down carefully and wraps her arms around me burying her head in the neck and she deeply inhales she pauses for a moment before sighing "smells like you" she mumbles. She gently pushes my hair out from my eyes and presses her lips softly against mine and I swear in that moment nothing else mattered but her. And she was all that mattered to me all night.

* * *

I groan when I woke up, my limbs ached it took me a few moments to remember why. When I did a huge grin spread across my face. I stared down at a naked Johanna and sighed when I got up and began to find my discarded clothes. Today was the day I was going to see Peeta, I realised maybe finding my love for Johanna and sleeping with her the day before wasn't the brightest idea but I don't regret it.

"Where you going Brainless?" Her voice is soft and hoarse she pulls the sheet around her chest and observes me, I find a shirt and begin to pull it over my head "that's mine Kat " she chuckles I inhale the shirt softly and smile "I know dummy" I walk forward and press a gentle kiss to her forehead "where you going Kat?" She repeats I sigh and wrap her into a hug, which is more me hugging the top of her head as she is still sitting. "I'm going to see Peeta" I whisper I feel her try and pull away "they just need me to drop in, I don't know why" I continued trying to calm any anger that she has. I pull away to see a rejected look in her eyes, I crouch down "I'll be back real soon" I whisper and press a light kiss to her lips. I begin to walk away then with an idea I bend down and grab my shirt and throw it to her "until then you have my shirt " I joked she clutches the shirt then slips it on turned in bed and curls up into a ball. She was mad. I sigh and walk to see Peeta.

* * *

I stare up and listen to the beeps of the machines around me. He tried to kill me. Beep. He hates me. Beep. It's all snow' s fault. Beep. The bed shifts and I look to see a scared looking Johanna closing her arms around me. My head rests against her chest but that's about all I'm aware of. The beeps are replaced the rhythmic beating of Johanna' s heart. "It'll be ok Kat" she whispered into my hair. I wanted to not

care that Peeta hated me but he always cared about me and that meant something. "Everyone was worried about you" Johanna carried on, I knew what she was doing, she was trying to distract me. "I pushed our beds together I hope that's ok?" Desperation laced her voice and I felt a sting of guilt "Kat please talk to me" she was begging now holding me closer to her chest I could feel her heart rate increase. "I want to go home Jo" I whispered and began to sob "shhh baby I know" she soothed more guilt consumed me. Here I was with the perfect woman who was caring and sweet yet strong and courageous and all I could think about is Peeta. I didn't love Peeta no but he represented something for me, he was caring he was soft, he was safe. Losing that was something I'd have to get used to. I really hopes I could for mine and Johanna' s sake.

* * *

I lay back down in the beds Jo had pushed together, I'd decided I had to get through this for us. I gazed at Johanna as she tidied around the room. "Kat could you please help, your Mom and prim will be here any minute and this place is a mess!" I giggled she was so cute and flustered right now. My mother and Prim were coming to our compartment to see me and Johanna took this to mean she was "meeting my family" which seemed to scare her shitless. It was adorable "would you relax, they are just coming to check on me they might not even come in and who cares if they do? " I said sitting up as the sheet dropped lightly I blushed as Johanna smirked at my exposed body. Her face suddenly turned serious "ok please just get dressed" she said throwing clothes at me, "they've seen me naked before Jo" I mumbled playing with the shirt watching as she became more stressed out "I don't want them think I'm some sort of" she paused "pervert" I smiled slipping the clothes on and walked over the her and gripped her hips leant in and whispered in her ear "you mean the kind of pervert that strips naked in an elevator?" I laughed at the shocked look on her face just as there was a knock on the door. Her faced morphed into one of terror. I pressed a soft kiss to her lips and walked to answer the door. Still laughing at her worry I swung the door open to be met with the faces of my mother, Prim and…"Gale? What are you doing here?" It came out harsher than expected I suddenly felt Johanna slip her hands around my waist from behind resting her head on my shoulder "hello Mrs Everdeen" she said softly. Wow she was so polite, pfft never treats me like that. Okay Katniss that was mean she treats you awesomely. "Hello Johanna would you two mind if we come in?" Wow even my mother was being polite. "Of course, please excuse the mess" she said and guided me aside.

The three stepped in and I watched as their eyes surveyed the room. Upon seeing the beds pushed together my mother smirked at me giving me the "I know what you're up to" look. I saw Prim staring at the beds in confusion and Gale looking at them as if he was trying to burn holes in them. I suddenly wish I'd help Johanna, I frowned feeling very scared of their reaction, I felt Jo's fingers intertwine with mine squeezing them gentle. She knows just how to relax me.

"Well Katniss this is… cozy" Gale muttered bitterly. My mother shot him a dangerous look and Prim still looked confused. "Well yeah…I mean you wanted know how I was doing right?" They nodded "well I'm urm doing good...actually" I breathed God I wish Gale wasn't staring at me I began to breathe heavily "she's doing great" Johanna said for me thank God for Jo "we still have our problems regarding Peeta, but we're working on it right Kat?" She smiled at me taking my breath away "Kat? Seriously" Gale grunted I felt Johanna tense behind me I shot her a look begging her to let it go "I think it's cute" Prim pipes up, sensing the tension. Johanna relax and rested herself against me "thanks Prim" she said again so softly wow who would've thought the great Johanna Mason would be such a suck up. "So this is new" my mother says softly trying to ease in to the subject. "Yes mom New but great" I smiled and Johanna stood beside me and wrapped her arms round my waist turning me to face her "really?" She asks hopefully. She pressed our foreheads together and I thought about her question. Everything with Johanna was going well, it was easy, and sometimes scary but amazing. "Yeah, of course, now who's brainless huh? " I chuckled and stared deep into Johanna' s eyes. "Mm shut up " she says pulling me closer so our bodies were flush against each other. My heart rate increased just like it always does when she holds me like this. I know where this leads. I jumped when I heard someone clear their throat. I saw my mother covering Prim' s eyes. Was that needed really? Gale looked as if we'd punched him, God can't he just be happy for me?! "Hey, do you have a problem with me?" Johanna spat at Gale, her aggressive tone coming back. "You're kidding right? I mean I could deal with being second to him but now I'm what third to him and that?" Gale growled. My eyes widened, I never knew my friend could come out with such a hateful slur. Everyone in the room looked to Johanna, waiting for her to attack him or scream at him...And we waited. "Excuse me" she muttered leaving the room. My mother and Prim excused themselves too.

"Ok what the hell was that Gale?" I yelled at him not caring if people came to see what the commotion was how could he do that?! "I don't get It? What does she have that I don't? What did he have?" Gale screamed back "it's not a choice Gale, I didn't mean to fall for her but I did! Why would I choose this?! Do you think I like knowing she hears me scream?! Why would I choose to love someone who can't bathe or touch water without screaming! Someone who steals morphine and thinks I don't notice?! Why would I choose to love someone to hearing them scream every night and know I can't help! " I was screaming back now almost hysterical his face was painted with guilt "katniss" he started but I interrupted "I didn't choose this, but I wouldn't trade her for anyone. Ever" I said with a tone that signifies this conversation is over. I was done with people judging me.


	6. Chapter 6

YAY I GET TO WRITE JOHANNA AGAIN. So mid last chapter I thought "hey this would be really cool" and also it started to flow in my mind and it sounded cute so I thought "why the hell not" so maybe it's considered filler but it's cute so. This starts from Johanna' s pov as she walked away from the scene in which Gale was a meanie. Don't worry I don't hate Gale or Peeta I've figured out a Peeta ending just need a Gale one. I'm also having a Finnick related crisis readers of the books will get me rn.

so i got some cool reviews and feedback on the last few chapter i do apologize for my writing it's sorta rough around the edges but i'm working on it. thanks to all 7 of you that reviewed it made me very happy :D. I wanna just answer some stuff that was asked but unfortunatly i don't have the reviews in front of me to reference names :( ( i go off on a slight doctor who rant so you can skip)

yes i am a Whovian, very much so. which is why this update took a little longer as i have been crying over the Christmas episode and the thought of losing Matt, but Capaldi looks promising. i was also crying because (Ok kinda a spoiler if you haven't seen the episode) the return of Amelia Pond.

As for if there will be more Johanna/Katniss interaction with Gale, most likely because Johanna needs to get better and tell him to stay away from her woman, oh that gives me a good plot idea! anyways I've rambled enough enjoy :)

* * *

Johanna pov

I had to get out if there. I couldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. I walked down the halls with a path, I was running low. I had to go when Kat was busy she couldn't know I hadn't stopped. I slipped in stuffing my pockets with the tablets. It wasn't quite the same as injecting morphine straight into my bloodstream, but Kat would notice. I backed out of the closet locking it back up. I turned around to be met with a familiar pair of eyes, these were less aged. Prim.

"Jesus Christ did nobody ever teach you not to sneak up on people" I breathed trying to slow down my heart. I thought Katniss said she had heavy feet. Her eyes were hard and stared directly into mine not flinching. I laughed nervously "hey you and your sister both have the same pissed off look" her eyes narrowed.

"What were you doing in there Johanna?" her voice was dark and completely contrasted her sweet and innocent look, it was terrifying. Shit she asked me a question. God why did her and her sister share the same I'm disappointed in you look. Shit shit shit.

"I thought it was the bathroom?" I said trying to sound sure but it came out as a question.

"Empty your pockets" she demanded. I sighed and did as she asked figuring there was no point in pretending she'd tell Katniss no matter what, maybe if she understood she wouldn't. She frowned when I produced the pills she scooped them out of my hands.

"Please no Prim you don't understand I need them…please" I said desperately, she gave me a look of concern.

"Why?" I looked down, I hate that her eyes reflect a younger Katniss...Well what I imagined to be a younger Katniss. "They keep the nightmares away...I want to make Katniss happy, and the nightmares…they scare her…she doesn't need my problems with hers…she has enough to worry about with Peeta. You're a smart girl Prim please just give them back" I begged. She gave me a look of sympathy.

"Johanna, my sister isn't the type to fall for people easily…or even let people in…she really really cares about you…I think she might love you, do you really want her to love the drugged up version of you...?" Ouch kid sure know how to use shock tactics. I became short of breath, she was right , this wasn't the way to be with Kat she deserves better someone like Peeta before…

"you're right" I shot her a watery smile. I slid down onto the floor and she joined me. "You really thinks she loves me?" I asked

"I think she could…but she blames herself…for what happened to Peeta, I think if he can get better…she'll forgive herself enough to let herself love you" she smiled at me stood up and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. I laughed "you're a smart girl" she chuckled and walked away "bye Johanna"

* * *

Katniss Pov

It had been 2 days since the incident and I was lying in Johanna' s arms as she stroked my hair, everything about this moment was perfect, I never wanted it to end. Her fingers moved from my hair to softly caress my arm gently running over the scabs from when she had her hospital breakdown. Her hands then tailed back up to my shoulders gently rubbing the knots of tension she found there, her hands moved down again rubbing my back her touches left goosebumps everywhere. I let out a tiny moan when I felt her lean down and nips softly at the spot just under my ear. "J-jo stop"I whined. She huffed and shifted her position so we were lying next to each other. She said her "friskiness" was down to us not having been intimate since our first night, I know it's really withdrawal symptoms she's trying to focus on anything but the lack of morphine. Prim told me what had happened and sure enough Johanna' s screams were just as loud as they were the night before. I felt guilty when I found out it was for me…I supposed I had been very distracted with Peeta especially for the past few days, they tried bringing Delly in for him to see a familiar face to relate too. It had worked so well he began to "court her". I'd seen them around the mess hall holding hands, I thought I'd feel something but I didn't. When Johanna caught me looking she slipped her arms round my waist and pressed a kiss to the side of my head. This prompted Gale to storm off.

I wrapped my hand around Johanna' s and intertwined our fingers bringing them up to the light. "Mmm I love these fingers" I smiled while I spoke.

"Oh i know babe" Johanna' s voice became low and seductive well she thought it was seductive I found it funny.

"Actually I meant my fingers" laughed but before I could continue she interrupted

"I walked in on you the other day so I know that too" she winked at me while I blushed I'd hoped she'd let that one go

"no I meant look how happy they are" I wiggled my fingers in hers for good measure, she burst into fits of laughter it wasn't soon until I joined her . I'm not sure how long we lay there laughing but when we eventually calmed down my ribs ached. "They put me on your drill tomorrow " Johanna spoke timidly . I smiled sadly at her, Haymitch told me how last time she vomited in the rain. They'd switched her to me so I could help her.

* * *

The weeks past and she stayed the same. Unbathing and shaking. The withdrawal became worse and sometimes she caved. It wasn't until she was put on "the streets" that it got bad. They flooded it and of course she broke down. That's why I sit here stroking her unwashed matted spikey hair telling her how good she did today putting her toe in the bath. I didn't care she smelt I didn't care she cried I didn't care she looked weak. But I care she hurt.

Eventually it got too much, it was the day before Finnick and Annie's wedding and I was determined that she'd go looking like the old Johanna . So when Peeta had stopped her just before we left claiming he missed her I said I needed to go see Prim and excused myself. Johanna shot me an apologetic look and I gave her a quick kiss on the forehead I turned ready to go when I felt someone's hand on my arm, I turned to see Peeta gripping at it. Fear ran hit me as the images if our last encounter played through my mind. "Bye Katniss" he stuttered out Delly then threw her arms round him and crying over the progress he made. I was glad that my friend was coming back but I was too distracted. I ran to our room and ran a short bath making sure it would only reach her belly button.

Then I waited, eventually I heard the creak of the door "hey sorry Kat he kept talking about a double date or some such crap Finnick told him about, I had to say we'd think about it to shut him up but maybe we could just punch Finnick and make him and Annie go. I'm not sure I haven't figured out the details yet…Kat? Where are you babe?" Her voice rang out, I took a deep breath "I'm in the bath" there was no reply, but eventually the door to the bathroom opened. "Come sit with me Jo" she still remained silent but slowly slipped her clothes off and placed her foot into the bath. Her whole body began to shake violently and she collapsed into me making a splash which caused her to let out a sob. I ran my hands through her spikey hair whispering that I was here and she was safe. When I washed her body her hand gripped mine hard her knuckles turning white as she began to ramble about district 7 and how excited she was for me to see the sun rise. This went on for hours and by the time her body was clean we were sitting on cold water. I didn't care I picked up Johanna dried her off and put her to bed. I'd made sure to have the sheets washed. So we were both as clean as can be for Finnick and Annie's big day tomorrow . We fell asleep content in each other's arms. No nightmares graced me that night only dreams of Johanna me and a beautiful sunrise.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N- So this is the wedding. Obviously it has gotten slightly off Canon but Joniss. Still formulating a plan where Gale isn't a hermit at the end. Message me if you can think of a paring. Just a note I really ship Finnick and Annie.( It's amazing how fast I can write when there's studying to be doing) this chapter kinda stumped me a little tho. Ok i read through this a bunch of times so apologies for any mistakes. The next chapter may take a while. (i actually had chapter 6 and 7 written a while ago but had no time to upload.)

* * *

Katniss pov

The light hit my face as I wake up from the best nights sleep I've had in months. I look to the cause of this heavenly gift of sleep, and notice how the light illuminated freckles I'd never seen before. I began to play dot to dot with them on her face smiling to myself when her nose scrunched up in her sleep. She looked so peaceful, it felt like a crime to wake her up. I began to kiss the freckles softly, soon her eyes had fluttered open.

"Mm kinda creepy to wake up to someone watching you" her raspy sleep filled voice rang out causing a shiver to go down my spine and rest in my stomach.

"Shut up!" I chuckled leaning in and capturing her lips. Her hands moved to tangle themselves in my hair pulling softly causing me to let out a moan. She slips her tongue in my mouth and the battle for dominance began.

"Johanna open the door!" Fininck' s voice rang through the aforementioned door.

Johanna climbed from under me and walked to the door but before she could reach it I cried out "Jo put some clothes on for God's sake!"

"Babe relax it's not like Finnick hasn't seen me naked before" she chuckled.

"Wait when?! Why?! How could you not tell me that?!" I hissed hoping Finnick wouldn't hear and be offended. I mean Johanna and Finnick can't have slept together...I mean he has Annie and Johanna likes girls right? Oh my God what if they have been together? Does that mean I've indirectly had sex with Finnick? I suddenly felt a pair of lips on mine. Johanna pressed her forehead against mine.

"Someone's over thinking again" she whispered "is Kat jealous?" She teased. pfft as if I was jealous. Ok maybe I was.

"Just because you don't get jealous doesn't give the right to judge me" I shoved her off me pouting. She smiled at me and brushed some hair out of my eyes.

"I get jealous more than you might think" she tries to grab my hips again.

"When?" I muttered looking at the floor.

"At the Victors dinner, when Peeta couldn't stop staring at your boobs" wait that's what Peeta was doing?! That dazed look wasn't him thinking?! "Wait you didn't know he was checking you out did you?" she giggled pressing her lips against my forehead. "My oblivious little Kat" she laughed

"Johanna come on please open up, I need help!" Fininck yelled again. Crap I forgot he was there. Johanna ran to the door, still nude, and threw it open revealing a scared looking Finnick clad in a very nice suit. He stepped in quickly, I'm almost 100% sure he hasn't even register that me and Jo are naked.

"Which tie looks better with this suit" he says worry lines etched across his face as he held up a blue tie and a red tie. Why he's asking us I'll never know.

"The blue Finn" Johanna say smiling as she puts the tie around Finnick' s neck and begins to tie it for him. I looked warmly upon the scene unfolding before me. I stood up wrapping the sheet around me and snaked my hands around Johanna' s waist resting my head on her shoulder.

"You look very handsome Finnick" I complimented he smiled at me. Then looked me and Jo up and down and scowled.

"Um katniss you know only the bride is supposed to wear white right?" He laughed as I blushed a deep shade of red.

"Ok Finnick we have to get ready unless you want us at the wedding naked, so run along we'll be there soon alright?" Johanna said trying to shoo him away. He said goodbye and left still looking nervous. It was adorable to see him so scared.

"I thought he'd never leave" Joahanna spoke turning in my arms and trying to pull the sheet away from my body. It took every fiber of my being not to let her.

"Baby no, we have to get ready" I said pushing her away trying to get away from her lips. We both rushed to get ready.

* * *

After the simple ceremony we sat and had a rationed meal, because in coin' s words "there's still a war on" Johanna really hates her and I'm starting to see why. When we finished everyone watched in awe at the bride and Grooms first dance. Then the dance floor became free for all but I remained seated. I had Jo on my right, with Prim and my mother to the left and Delly, Peeta and Haymitch opposite. Gale was sitting further down the table with his friends and of course the bride and groom's seats, though not occupied at the moment, were at the head of the table just next to Johanna and Peeta.

We fell into easy conversation and I was quite relaxed until Jo's voice rang out "Come on Kat, dance with me!" She sounded excited and I hated to burst her bubble but I really didn't want to partake in something that involves a lot of movement right now.

"Well I would but well district 12 people don't really dance" I lied and turned back to the table. As I did I realised for this to work I need the other 5 people from 12 to go along with this...I'm an idiot. My biggest worry was Haymitch, I'm sure he'll throw my under the bus just to have a laugh.

"What are you talking about Katniss? We dance all the time, we have a dance every season to keep spirits up you're always there. Not to mention school dances" Peeta said with a smirk plastered on his face.

"I think I preferred you when you were trying to kill me" I hissed at him. What an ass.

"Is it me then?" Johanna asked her voice laced with hurt.

"What no of course not, I just don't want to dance right now" I stammered out. Crap that was smooth Everdeen. She looked away hurt, suddenly her plate was the most interesting thing in the world to her. God I'm the ass not Peeta.

"I'll dance with you Johanna" Prim offered after a short silence. Johanna looked up with a big smile on her face again and nodded happily. I watched as she and my sister began to dance Finnick and Annie kissed behind them and a chorus of "Awhs" sounded. I've never seen Finnick so happy, I allowed my eyes to rest on the scene of my friend and his wife humbled for a moment before I remembered what just happened. I whipped my head round.

"Why did you do that?!" I spat at a very satisfied looking Peeta.

"You shouldn't lie to the people you love" he smiled at me. God he's annoying. Why can he speak to me now? Can't the Captiol do anything right?!

"Fine" I muttered and stood up, making my way over to Prim and Johanna. "Hey little duck, mind If I cut in?" Prim just smiled winking at Johanna and walked off.

I slipped my arms around her waist as hers went around my neck, our foreheads pressed together as we began to slow dance.

"What was that Jo?" I whispered not wanting to break the peace that surrounded us. She gave me a confused look and sighing I continued. "With Prim, she winked at you"

"Oh that was nothing, she was just saying how you don't mean to be socially inept, and you always come to your senses eventually" she laughed. Well lovely to know they both talk about me so highly.

"I thought maybe you were telling her how to kill with an axe or something" I giggle when Johanna' s face morphed into one of shock.

"I like that kid, she's sweet and really smart. I mean I had six sisters but she's more like family to me than they were" Johanna spoke softly.

"You have six sisters?!" The shock was evident in my voice, I was just surprised at how little I knew about her.

"I had…" she paused closing her eyes trying to compose herself "I had six sisters, yeah, I was the youngest, they all bullied me terribly. I mean I loved them in a I had to because they were my sister's sort of way, but it never went beyond that" she pressed a little kiss to my nose and continued "when I won my games they were so happy, they thought we were safe, after seeing me kill so many people they weren't so mean anymore" she trails off

"You…you said had" I whispered my hands caressing her hips not wanting to force her to talk if she didn't want to.

"We were safe for a little while but…then the year after I won snow came to me… he wanted me to become a sex symbol Victor like Finnick..." her eyes fluttered shut again, I knew what was coming, I could tell her to stop but I have a feeling she's never said it before and maybe needs to. I press my lips against her close eyelids silently telling her she was safe and I was here. " I told him no but he was persistent while I was mentoring that year. I kept saying no of course so when I got home with no victors, I found all of my sisters, my mother and father dead they said there was a fire in the house, it was him" she whispered the last part her eyes still squeezed tightly shut tears leaking out of them. I knew Johanna enough not to say sorry, she didn't need my pity. I just pulled her closer.

"He can't hurt you anymore" I whisper in her ear, I flinch when I realise I'm all but repeating her words from the arena.

"But he can " she said against my hair. "Because now there is someone left that I love, it's you Katniss, I love you and if he takes you too…" a sob left her lips as she pulled me impossibly closer. My face must be filled with shocked because her next words are soon stuttered out of her mouth. "Why are you looking at me like that Brainless? I've said I love you before"

"No…no you haven't" I breathe

"Well you know I do…I love you brainless" she says and my vision becomes hazey with tears.

"I love you too Johanna" I say my voice coming out breathless. Suddenly her lips are pressed against mine. When we part we are both breathing heavily.

"I won't let him take me Jo" I say smiling at her. I lean in and capture her lips. We leave the wedding shortly after; we spent the night tangled in each other. We make love but don't speak of how I must leave in the morning. We don't speak about how it's very likely he will take me. We don't speak of anything.

* * *

I wake up early in the morning, my plan is to leave before she wakes up. No such luck, within seconds of me standing from the bed I feel arms wrap around my naked middle bringing me back to the bed. Johanna wraps her legs around my hips from behind, trapping me.

"Please don't leave" she whispers pressing her nose against my hair and inhaling deeply.

"I have to kill him" I said my voice strained with the stress of what was happening.

"The others can kill him, Coin can kill him if she's so great, baby please" she began to sob against my back. I shifted her around and cradled her against me soothing her.

"Jo, if I don't come back-" I began but she interrupted

"You promised you wouldn't let him take you from me!" She yelled. I knew she wasn't angry at me. She was angry at herself, if she'd had been healthier in mind, she could've come to protect me. The idea of Johanna being near Snow again made me shiver. I was glad she couldn't go.

"I know but if something happens…you have to look after Prim for me…please" I was begging I knew it was stupid to ask, of course she would. Jo only told me last night Prim was like a sister to her.

"You know I would" the anger had left her voice.

There was a knock at the door and we both knew it was time. I slowly rose and got dressed in the outfit Cinna made me, I close my eyes remembering his words "remember girl on fire…I'm still better on you" . Rue' s words then rang through my mind "Katniss you have to win" tears pricked my eyes. I slowly open them and look at Johanna. They were right, I had to be strong and come back, their pain and death couldn't be in vain. Jo stood and presses a firm kiss against my lips.

"I love you Kat" she whispers like it was the most delicious secret in the world, and it most definitely was.

"I love you to Jo, I'll be back soon …I promise" we hug and then I'm gone. More determined than ever to kill him, not just for what he did to Johanna, but for Peeta, Cinna, Rue, Johanna' s family, Thresh, every tribute and family that has been hurt and killed, I'll do it for all of them.


End file.
